I am officially off work for a couple days. It is a bitter sweet time. I was supposed to be on my annual sister trip, but alas, with all the turmoil going on the trip has been canceled. Sondie and I have figured we have it easy in the grand scheme of things, but still feel the disappointment of our first trip ever to be canceled.
I have had many people tell me how great it is that my sisters all take time for each other to do an annual trip! It is wonderful. But it takes me back to why we started these trips. My dad! Plain and simple. When my dad first got sick, Elisabeth was 6 months old, it was such a hard time for my mom that we (the sisters) decided to take her away on a trip. Our trips started with the OLD SOW! Old sow 1025! It was so good for my mom. We continued to go with old sow 1025 for a few years. Then she couldn't physically go anymore so the trips became the four of us. We have needed each other over the last several years. For lots of reasons really. On our first trip, old fat hog 1 was in the middle of her divorce after 20 years of marriage to a tyrant and old fat hog 2 was told she was going to be a grandmother prematurely. We became the old fat hogs on that trip. Why? Well, #1 was having hot flashes and had gained a lot of weight while going through the divorce and she made a comment about being an "old fat hog"! It stuck. We got our numbers by birth order!
The disappointment this year is we can't go! We really needed a time to love, support and grieve our daddy's death. I have been doing well in the grand scheme of things, but the last 2 weeks have been difficult. I am not sure why. It came out of the blue. A new season? Mom's birthday coming? The tragedy of Sophia's accident? I would give one of my front teeth to talk to my dad. (That is saying something when you are a hygienist!) I have never gone for 6 months without talking to my dad! I need his wisdom he so gently spoke without being controlling! He was the most gentle man I know! I MISS MY DAD!
Instead of spending time with my sisters I will be spending time with my in-laws. They are lovely people, so don't misunderstand me. It just reminds me of my own lack of a dad! My father-in-law is not well so we need to spend time with him. He is soon to be 61 and has only 16% cardiac output and is in congestive heart failure. He has been worked up for a transplant, but has not been put on a transplant list. WHY???? I suppose he isn't sick enough yet. I will enjoy my visit with them, but will grieve the loss of my trip with the "OLD FAT HOGS"!
I know I haven't posted in a while, but I haven't fallen off the earth! Just been crazy and busy!
1 comment:
Yep...I've spent the last few days in tears that just spring to my eyes too easily...we are right where God wants us, but I have a hard time thinking that right now we should be at the restaurant...I cancelled those reservations.
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