I love this picture.... Of course it is compliments of "google images"... but I love it nonetheless.
I am in a new season of life. I don't know how to explain it. I feel like life hasn't quit hitting me. I have officially been knocked to my knees and they are raw as I crawl along the road of life.
It all started with my surgery to have my gallbladder removed. It continued with my diagnoses of high blood pressure at the tender age of 37. Then moved to the fast and furious pace of my dad's illness and death. Next we went to the move and not selling our house... still haven't.... after two failed contracts. This list hasn't even included my precious niece who was scalded with 150 degree water.... deemed abuse with removal and destruction of families ( my family).... hearing still in progress and finally the illness of my father in law. All of this in just 15 months. My question... How can a body, mind and spirit take this kind of battering?
I have stepped down from my position in the middle school girls. I feel like an empty vessel and decided to "sit at the Father's feet for awhile". I need to bask in his love. The list above hasn't killed me, so it has made me stronger. I can't feel the strength yet, but know I will see it eventually. I will miss the girls, but I can not continue to pour out of an empty spirit. I pray this is the move of a christian who is mature enough to realize her own spiritual needs. A week or so ago I realized I couldn't find Jesus because it seems so dark. I know he is holding me in the palm of his hand but....... Thank God I have a solid level of faith or I would be lost. We all would be with the Lords saving Grace.
Why does God continue to fool with me when I feel like such a failure is completely beyond me! I know it his never ending love. Oh I haven't committed any major sin... I have just fallen to my knees. I have thought about the song " The warrior is a child" a lot over the past week. We all need to drop our swords and cry for awhile and then get back up and continue to battle. God is good and he will see me through this season. I will be stronger in the end. God has good plans and he will work all things together for good.
2 comments:
I'm glad you had the courage to do it. :o) Is everybody well there now?
You are right - cry a little while then get back up but when you get back up remember that Jesus wept to and he sympathizes with our weaknesses - even though he is not weak!
Also, know He is praying for you and so is the Holy Spirit with groaning that cannot be understood by us but are always answered "Yes" by the Father!
Post a Comment