Reflections

I have been reflecting on my life. I know: this could get deep.

I go back to where I started. I am not sure if I should share all of this or not, but here goes.

I am completely humbled as to how far I have come. I liked this picture because I am a mere vessel. I am a vessel willing to be used by God.

I was born to a family with little. Things got worse once my twin sister and I came along. Dad didn't make much money and the strain of 5 children was great. My paternal grandmother passed away when I was about 18 months old. The stress of that death took its toll on my dad. To say the least, he sunk! I reflect on that as I experience the loss of my dad. Dad watched his mother die. I watched my dad die. I don't want to sink.

Once my dad sunk, our lives changed drastically. My mother was a strong woman. Because she was always so strong I struggle to see her so weak now! She had never even earned her high school diploma. My dad was unable to work and my mom had no ability to support us. Five children and a sick husband. Did she quit? Did she go on welfare? NO! She earned her GED, moved her elderly father-in-law in with us, took care of dad and all five of us. I was around four years old when she finished with her LPN schooling. She worked and went to school. We were taken care of by my papaw and older siblings. We didn't always have a nice house, heck we didn't have running water until I was twelve. YES, you read that right. The simple necessity of water from a spigot was not offered to me as a child. There were times we had very little to eat. My dad dealt with life by drinking beer. He was an alcoholic. Plain and simple.

How did my family get turned around? I believe it goes all the way back to my maternal grandmother. She died when my mom was around three years old. On her death bed she prayed. She prayed for my mom and all of her decedents. The prayers of a dying woman were answered. (James 5:16 The prayer of a righteous man avails much... woman in this case)

When I started kindergarten I met a little girl named "Sherry". Sherry's mom took me and my twin to church. From there, God called my family back to him. Starting with Sonderella! It was a long road to where I am.

Side note: Sherry is the last person my dad witnessed to. My how the circle continues. It just doesn't seem right that Sherry doesn't serve God now! I pray for her soul.

My first grade teacher told my mom that I was stupid. My third grade teacher told my mom that I would be lucky if I was able to read a cook book. I don't tell you this for pity, but to show you how far God has brought me.

I was the first of my family to graduate from college. I am not the most educated one (that would be Sonderella - Ms. Dukey Grad. Nurse practitioner-I am very proud of her). I teach dental hygiene in a community college. WONDER if Mrs. Stricklen and Mrs. Watkins would believe that!

I never had any self confidence. I always felt inferior, ugly and stupid. I am amazed at how far I have come.

God has touched me in ways I never thought possible. I am amazed I "got out". I can't believe we are able to buy such a nice house. I am amazed I am successful as an educator. Yes, I have had a bad year with the students I just taught. Yes, they weren't so nice on my evaluations, but I was awarded with the "instructor of the year" last year for the Health Sciences division. Amazing, huh?

I don't tell you this to brag. I tell you this to show God's amazing ability to use a vessel. To bless abundantly.

As I reflect.... I hold onto God's faithfulness to survive my dad's death. To see the rainbow behind the storm.

If you are in a stormy time of your life..... Don't tell God how big your storm is.... tell the storm how big your God is!