Deception

The above picture was sent to me in an e-mail. "This is a picture taken directly above these camels in the desert at sunset. It is considered one of the best pictures of the year. Look closely, the camels are the little white lines in the picture. The black you see are just the shadows!! "

Isn't it deceiving to realize that the camels are the white and not the black blobs? Okay, so what is my point? I feel like deception is a part of my life now. Sounds weird, but I am not happy lately. I try to pretend, there is the deception, that I am happy. No one would want to be around me or tolerate me otherwise. It is just so hard to be happy right now. My parents are gone! It's Father's day. My in-laws are visiting. That in itself is a complete miracle. Remember my father-in-law was so sick around Christmas? He is a walking miracle. I am glad he is still alive and my husband is getting to spend time with him.....however, having them visit for the last week makes me painfully aware of the lack of my parents. My mother-in-law even questioned as to whether it was too soon for them to come because it might make me and the kids so sad. I reassured her that we need to go on living and the kids need to continue to have a relationship with them. Although, this visit has made Elisabeth very sad. She has cried several times. I hold her and comfort her. Why is Grief so hard? Why can't we just get over it? I quoted the scripture about God turning our mourning into dancing to Elisabeth.... Well, I am just waiting for the dancing?