Saturday, May 16, 2009

Making a Silk purse with the ear of a Sow



I feel like the last year or so has been equal to making a silk purse with the ear of a Sow! I feel like I have done about as well too!

I had the week off. So, I spent the week working on a scrapbook for Elisabeth for Honor Star Crowning. I don't need to have it completed until August, but knew I needed to spend my week wisely. My time is going to be precious (more on that later). As I was asking Elisabeth who she would like to write letters of encouragement and love for this book I came to learn, some things aren't possible. She wants a letter from my mom. If I could retrieve one from the grave I would. However, this is impossible. Even in the "happy" moments I am aware of her loss. As Elisabeth and I cried I thought of the bible my mom gave Elisabeth and realized there are some words Mom wrote in it. IF I can find it... probably still in a box in the garage my mom lovingly told me I needed to get unpacked the last time she was here, I will add those words to her scrapbook.

I couldn't help but think about this week last year. I spent 3 to 4 days with my mom. I helped her design and purchase she and Daddy's tomb stone! Whew! Who knew we would need it so soon.

As for my time... well I promised mommy on her death bed that I would go back to school and earn my masters degree. I promised this at a time when I knew my application had been marked "alternate". So, when my status was changed to "accepted", I knew I had to accept the position. I will start graduate school in July. So you see this album that I need by August must be completed as much as possible prior to July. I'm caught up with all I can do. Now I am waiting on letters and hoping to find that bible! I also need to purchase a dress, if we don't use the one from Julie, and have pictures made. This will be added to the scrapbook too.

The thought of being a student again makes me a nervous wreck! I know, however, that God is in control and I must continue to rest and rely on him. I know it is the perfect time. My silk purse is almost done I hope. I also hope the next project will not be as difficult as watching both my parents die. By watching I mean standing by their beds and watch them take their last breath! Not easy but necessary! Grad school can't be any harder than that, right?

I miss mom and dad terribly and feel the voids everywhere I turn, but I will continue to live and work at healing.

1 comment:

sweettea said...

Does this mean you'll be working too???