Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Can you imagine?

I know I have been MIA, but have been so very busy! With graduate school, work and the kids... well there just isn't much time left for writing or reading anything other than text books. I do love learning, but whew... the time it has taken me. I am taking two classes so time is of the essence.

Anyway, I was thinking this morning about a blessing. It may not and has not always seemed like a blessing. I was thinking about hearing my mother and father's last prayers ever spoken. AND I GOT TO BE THERE! How amazing! Watching them take their last breaths has taken it's toll on my emotions, but how many children can say they were at the last prayer their parents ever spoke?

I remember Daddy's prayer. He was laying in the living room recliner with friends and family all around him. He was a quiet man who didn't speak much, but he was so sweetly praying for God to bring comfort. Mommy's prayer seemed more powerful, but I know it was not. My Daddy loved the Lord and was anxious to meet him face to face. A mother's prayer is special in its own way. Mommy petitioned God for something and then very convincingly told him, " I know you will Lord!". It was such a blessing to hear them both. They both faced their deaths very bravely. I want to be half as brave as they were when my time comes.

I heard the song "Can you imagine" by Mercy Me on the way to work this morning. It got me wondering what Mommy did when she met the Lord. Did she dance, run, fall on her knees? I bet she was shouting. I remember her shout. I heard it many times in church. She would shout "Glory" and "Pray you Jesus". Oh to hear her just one more time!

After Daddy died, I didn't think about the things I think about now. All I thought about was Mommy. How is she? Is she sad? Is she going to be okay? Who is taking care of her. Now, that Mommy is gone, I am coming full circle. I am really grieving both Mommy and Daddy. I have wondered if I am grieving Mommy more because I loved her more? But have come to the decision... No, I just couldn't stop taking care of Mommy to grieve Daddy. The grief belonged to her..... now it belongs to me.

1 comment:

sweettea said...

I would also add that with your mama's death, there was a finality there that wasn't there with your daddy. You know what I mean?