Thanks Sonderella and Erin

My new header is from Sonderella and Erin. It is a festive look for a joyous season.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We have a lot to be thankful! Enjoy Thanksgiving and count your blessings. Someone wise used to tell me that all the time. I will please him and God and count my blessings and not focus on my sorrows. We all have "sorrows" but I know my blessings outweigh them.

Eat lots! Enjoy family and friends! :o)

Ken, if an ingredient is missing from the German Chocolate Cake..... it wasn't me! hehehehe I would like a piece though! We miss you and Lynn..... enjoy Sonderella! :o)

Recently I received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could
think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and
put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot,

I quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said


"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions.

I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and
I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior."

I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic
change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"



HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Our tongue and mischievous mouth

James 1:26 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society


26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

Proverbs 12:18 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society


18 Reckless words pierce like a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.


Okay, here we go. One of my all time weaknesses is controlling my tongue. I didn't realize until tonight that my religion (salvation) is worthless if I can NOT control my mouth! This is really scary to me. I pray the Holy Spirit will keep his hand securely placed over my lips! Words can shoot out of my mouth without a single thought about what is shooting out! Not to everyone, but to the ones I love the most (my family)! How does that happen? Lack of self-control.... that is one of the fruits of the spirit!

So, as I was coming to this realization God showed me something else. The kids were talking about the tongue today. The tongue taste four different flavors. Sweet, salty, sour, and bitter. Look at the diagram above and take note of the location of each flavor area. Sweet is on the end. Close to our lips. Our words should be sweet. They should bring healing, not pierce like a sword. Now look at bitter. It is on the back, close to the throat. If we swallow bitterness it will root in our hearts and our beings. If we let that bitter root grow we will never live in victory. The victory granted to us by Jesus and his death on the cross!

I am only human, but will not use that as an excuse. I must be "salt and light" to those around me. Controlling my tongue and mouth is just one of those ways.


On a lighter note.... if bitter and sour were on the end instead of sweet and salty I would weigh a lot less because I would eat less sweet and salty foods! How many of you eat a sweet and then need a salty or vise versa?

I pray your week is filled with words that are sweet and bring healing and I pray the Holy Spirit firmly plants his hand over my lips!

Blessings to you and yours. Find something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!


Ken, did you get my e-mail with the German Chocolate Cake recipe? I wasn't sure I had your e-mail address correct. If not let Sonderella know and I will forward it thru her.

The roses from my garden

I hurried outside when I got home last night to try to save the roses from my garden. You see we had snow flurries earlier in the day. The picture above are the ones I thought were going to be enjoyable for a few days. Who knew I could grow or keep roses alive? Amazing! I collected over a dozen!

We are sending a few to Malakhi's teachers today. :o)

I walked more than 2 miles today!

I walked a couple of miles today. It felt good. It was cool and crisp.

While I walked I prayed. I realized how much my dad was the glue that held the family together. It still amazes me how he was such a quiet, stabilizing, gentle force. I miss him terribly.

I am having a difficult time dealing with the holiday's this year. We are supposed to go home to WV to visit my husband's family. I want to make the trip short. Why? I can tell you it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. I want to be home to decorate for Christmas. Traffic is always bad from WV. I want a day to rest. I want to come home on Friday, rest and get ready for the week on Saturday. Sunday is always busy. Elisabeth has Cotillions and we have small group that evening. I wished Joel understood. He just doesn't. He wants to run the whole time. I am always so tired to go back to work on Monday. I think it does have a little to do with my malfunctioning family. I feel like an orphan. I don't have a home to go to. If you know my family and the turmoil right now you might understand that statement. If you don't understand and think I am being ridiculous, just pray for me. I can cry at the tiniest things. The wind, the leaves rustling, the mention of family. You name it.

I am trying to embrace the holiday's with a festive spirit. I am planning a Christmas party for all the little girls in Elisabeth's class at school. I think it will a good way to celebrate. I hope it is fun. I am planning some activities the girls should enjoy!

Walking was a good stress reliever today!

Tagged by Lynn

Here's how it works: I am supposed to pick up the nearest book with at least 123 pages, turn to the 123rd page, find the 5th sentence, and then post the three sentences immediately after that. "

Here we go .... The Dawes Act Converts tribal lands to individual ownership. The intent is to encourage Indian assimilation.
The result is a substantial reduction in lands owned by Native Americans.

The entry is referring to the date 1887 and is found in Lynne Cheney's book " A Time for Freedom."

Here is one of my soap box statements..... The indians were discriminated against and you don't see them with their handout and crying discrimination! Matter of fact.... I dare you to find out how many of them were killed and what their population is now in comparison to the 1800's! Enough of that! I will only cause people to interpret my statements incorrectly.

Thanks for the tag! I do love books!

Knowledge doesn't make life easier

I have been feeling rather melancholy lately. I think it is because the holiday's are upon us. Holiday's are supposed to be fun. I am completely aware of this. It is, however, the first holiday season without my dad.

Some of you know the story of my dad, but maybe not all the details. My dad was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the oral cavity. This diagnosis was after he had double by-pass and both carotids operated on. We found his first lesion on Thanksgiving day.... yet another reason this Thanksgiving will be hard. I hate to say especially for me, but I feel this way. You see I found his lesion at home in the living room. I kick myself over and over for not looking earlier. I missed the symptoms! I missed it! I know his doctor said it was found early, but obviously not early enough. I knew the whole time I was in dental hygiene school that my dad was high risk for this disease! I should have looked! I knew he wasn't seeing the dentist! No one was looking and neither did I! I know ultimately his death is not my fault, but I just miss him terribly! I had to teach my students to do this simple yet life saving examination today. I did not intend to share my story about daddy, but I cried as I was lecturing today! I blew it. I had to apologize and explain. I hope this class walks away understanding the importance of this simple, yet effective procedure. As I sat in the review class over the weekend I was reminded of the pathology side of this disease. I looked up some information too.


Merck.com
Prognosis
If carcinoma of the tongue is localized (no lymph node involvement), 5-yr survival is > 50%. For localized carcinoma of the floor of the mouth, 5-yr survival is 65%. Lymph node metastasis decreases survival rate by about 50%. Metastases reach the regional lymph nodes first and later the lungs.

Metastasis..... where does it go? Lungs, liver and bone. My dad had lung and liver cancer in the end. The second time the doctor diagnosed the oral cancer it was in the tonsil, the right tonsil. I knew at that point that we were all on borrowed time.

Okay, I am going to try to be "the cup is half full not empty". My dad did survive longer than the 5 years! He didn't have to have surgery that disfigured him. I am thankful for the additional years we had with him. My kids got to meet, know and love him. I will be forever blessed for that! It is just the first holiday season without him. Will it get easier? I hope and pray so. But today I know that knowledge doesn't always make life easier. At least not since the second diagnosis or even now!

God is still good and Daddy is resting at peace.

Thank you Joshua C. Poulsen

Below you will find a post from a Veteran who fought for our freedom. I am glad Joshua felt the freedom to use my blog to tell his story! I have the upmost respect for any veteran, young or old.



On the 11th Day of the 11th month each year, Americans come together to honor those in uniform, the ones who sacrificed for our nation, on Veterans Day. As a veteran of the Iraq and Afghanistan, War on Terror, I urge everyone to take this day to not just thank a veteran, but to talk with veterans. Learn about how our experiences have shaped our lives and what issues we face as we make our transitions back to civilian life. I would like to explain my side of the story, my own experience.

When I joined the military I was a young, confused kid, who did not know much about life, due to being sheltered for most of my life by my over protective parents. I did not know much about the war, just that I was enraged at the hatred those terrorists had for all Americans and me. I wanted to help my country, to protect it at all cost, even giving up my life to do so. It may sound funny but when I initially tried to enlist in the military, I was to be a military post-man, but the job had already been taken. Since I am color-blind, I wasn’t able to have a range of opportunities in the military. My placement was therefore in Mortuary Affairs Specialist. I felt that I grew up quicker in my years in service than most people do in their whole lifetime.

I was nineteen years old on February 8th, 2002. It was kind of cold for Phoenix as I reached the Airport headed to Fort Jackson, in South Carolina for basic training. Upon reaching Fort Jackson, referred by some in the service as relaxant Jackson, I found that the life I had chosen would not be as easy as I thought. Those first couple of days I got a hair cut, issued uniforms, and learned the waiting line for training was long. During this time, since 9/11, there was a mass influx of new recruits; the Army had problems finding them units to train in. For me I was lucky kind of, since I had a school date that did not come around very often, they tried to offer me another job, but I turn them down, I was shipped from Fort Jackson, then to Fort Lenderwood Missionary. The Ozark Mountains are cold and during winter, it was unbearable. It was an extreme change for me because I was mostly familiar with the hot weather in Phoenix, AZ. Exercising and running in extreme weather with being out shape was horrible. There was no special treatment for anyone but the drill sergeants made me work twice as hard. The treatment I received was something similar to a movie, where the fat kid got picked on and abused, but it was some thing I needed in order to become who I need to be. Despite this, I worked hard, did everything I was ordered to do, and eventually I graduated from boot camp with a new physique. During graduation, my fellow recruits honored me with “The Most Changed Person” reward, the Order of the Dragoon.

I was off to my next challenge, training for my MOS. When I reached Fort Lee, Virginia, I missed my start date and had to wait for the next one. This meant that I couldn’t get a pass to go anywhere; I had to just sit at the barracks, clean the floors, and do KP duty. After awhile this routine got incommodious. I was so happy on Memorial Day 2002, because the next day I was scheduled to start school. Then all of a sudden, I had horrible stomach pains, and could not figure what it was. So I was sent me off to the ER, the doctors initially diagnosed appendix problems. The one-hour surgery was then scheduled immediately, however it took five hours to complete. Apparently, my appendix had been ruptured for over a month including basic training. The surgeons said I am so lucky to be alive. I got a month off to recover and relax. When I got back to Fort Lee, I had to wait another month for class, so eventually when I got to school; I did my best to learn about my job and almost graduated at the top of my class. The reason why I did not graduate at the top of my class was due to my stomach muscles not fully recovering, which made doing sit-ups very hard. I did it because I wanted to join my unit at Fort Lee.

My feelings of excitement and wanting to serve were still in tact even after months of prolong waiting and recovery. In order to be all that I could be, to be the best, I exceed my own abilities by 120%. The mindset I had, came a long way (physically from Phoenix and mentally from the first story I heard about the terrorist attacks), I had really changed for the better. In the first year, I received my first (minor) medal, the Army Achievement Medal. With this acknowledgement from the Army, I wanted to speed up my deployment overseas to Afghanistan, but that wasn’t going to happen until March 18th 2003. According to orders, my team that I was assigned to from my unit wasn’t schedule to arrive in Iraq first. Instead, I worked in the Theater Mortuary Affairs Evacuation Point, a place that went nonstop for the first three months.

Sleep was limited to when I did not hear a helicopter, and when body’s slowed down coming in. In the states I had worked at the Richmond Morgue, but war was different. Instead of just seeing some one you did not know in the states, in Kuwait you learn to know every one, due to them wearing the same uniform, and inventorying all their personal effects, you knew who they wear when they left. Not only was our job to process Americans, but we also helped process British, and any other Allies. During this time I saw the mistakes we made, such as shooting British helicopter down with Sam missiles, and killing Brazilin journalist when we hit the wrong building, during that time I saw the horrors that mankind was possible of. I start experiences, problems, and tried to seek medical help, but I was deferred and told I would be fine. My excitement had come to an end, and I start to get in trouble, pretty soon my 1st Sgt, thought that I was not experiencing enough of the war, so he sent me to the Iraq, Camp Alsad. In Camp Alsad, was slow, but became difficult. Some of the soldiers I ate with at the chow hall, and knew were head on a rest and relaxation mission, but instead of making it, their helicopter was shot down. My team had to go clean the site, recover the bodies, and inventory their belongings. Man life is tough, but even tougher if you know the people. There were two other tough missions. The first were, when three Special Forces soldiers had been killed, when they were given orders not to shoot into a crowd even if they were receiving fire, not only did we have to process their bodies, but we also had to process the bodies of the people who had killed them. We are mortuary affairs first, and as such we have a moral obligation not to look at uniform, or lack of one, but to look at the person and understand their journey had come to a end, and it was our job to treat them with respect because every one has family and friends that care for them, it was not are job to judge right or wrong, which is very hard. The second tough mission was when we went with a convoy head to a site, that they had reportedly killed Sadam Husain, but in fact the compound was filled with animals and women and children. I do not think the Air Force meant to kill them, they were trying to do there job in following cell phone singles, and when they split, they went after the most likely target. On this mission two things had happened. One back in Alsad I was having bad night terrors, but the person in charge of my team figured the answer was not sending me back, but instead was to put me on night duty, and to change the location I slept on, in the location I was, this almost spelled disaster for me and my friend, when I woke up and started to scream at the top of my lungs, the people sleeping around the truck react and were about to shoot in the back of the truck, when my Sgt yelled stop he is just dreaming, oh thank god. The second thing is as I stated before, we are trained to respect the dead, and their belongings. This did not transfer to the people there, instead they were ordered to bury everything, destroy all evidence and move on. That pretty much covers Iraq.

When I got back to the states, I faced many hardships under the care of the Army. I am like millions of other veterans dealing with mental and physical scars of war. Most Americans will never know about these issues because it is not covered in the news or articles. The Army has become a two-sided issue for me; it was once a place where I wanted to succeed at being a great solider and fight for our rights and our country. Now that I came home I am still fighting another battle, however, this fight, I fight alone. I am trying to cope with sudden flashbacks, traumatizing combat events, hyper-vigilance to the recurrence of danger, feelings of numbness, low self-esteem, rage, and lapses in concentration. All of these have caused me to descend in my quality of life. I thought the Army and my unit would continue to care for me, treat me as a fellow solider, and assist me with finding resources for coping and healing. However, this was not the case, my unit classified me as a troublemaker, an unfit solider. As a result, they discharged me out of the Army abruptly without taking responsibility for the causes of my PTSD illnesses. Like other soldiers, I tried to reach out for help but once the system failed, I tried to commit suicide twice during my service. Luckily, both times, one of my few friends stopped me. This incident put me in a mental hospital involuntarily, where they doped me up on strong medicines, and no one cared to seek the reasons behind the action. I wasn’t allowed to receive my care at the Army hospital, because if procedures were followed, there would have been a long investigation and no one wanted to take the time to take care of their wounded soldiers with PTSD. Instead, I was discharged immediately with personality disorder. This seems to be the common practice for the Army, not just in my case but also 20,000 other veterans. At 5 P.M. September 16, 2004, my last official orders from the Army were, TO GET OUT!! Heavily medicated, I received my car keys, and was told to drive over 5000 miles, all the way home to Phoenix, Arizona. My feelings that proscribed afterwards are indescribable.

Even though I am still in my own body, this whole experience has shaped my life. Following my physical return home to Phoenix, AZ, I, however, didn’t return home with my state of mentality. My homecoming wasn’t what I imagined, that is because it was based on tv and movies I’ve seen about returning soldiers as hero’s. I became hospitalized time and time again.

Don’t worry, my story gets better and does have a great beginning. This new chapter in my life begins with the chance meeting the love of my life, my wife. With her continued support, I am able to handle some things on my own. A great support system, love, understanding, and patience, is what I think all soldiers should have and receive upon their return home. After all, the important issue is that we are all humans! With the good and the bad, we will always have our memories.

So on this Veterans Day and every day the best way to honor our veterans is to connect with them. So please remember and honor our fellow humans, our veterans. Without recognition from our family and friends, it doesn’t seem like all of our efforts make a difference. Many of us new veterans are being left behind, we have honored you by defending your rights, and all we ask is to welcome us home.

Sincerely,
Joshua C. Poulsen
Iraq and Afghanistan Veteran

I love Maxine!

She is right.... there is more of my "butt" each year to save! Thanks for saving it! :o)

Veterans Day Thank you!

This is just a simple "Thank you" to all who have served our country. Thank you to my father-in-law, Larry! Many have served and many have died for our freedom.

Freedom is not free!

Don't forget to thank a veteran today!

I miss my mom!

I miss my mom. I talk to her on the phone everyday. Since Sophia got injured and moved in mom's house I haven't talked to her as much. I have still called, but she has become a woman of few words. Let's just say....things have been tough around there. So tough that mom has gone to my brother's house. Let's call him "the big bad wolf".



I know, I know.... how terrible of me! If you have followed my blog for very long you will understand. I just can't call my mom. I don't call my brother's house when mom isn't there so I won't call when she is there. I told mom I would let her do the calling, but I really miss her. I haven't talked to her for over 5 days. I can't remember the last time I went that long without talking to her. It has been at least over 10 years! I guess this is preparation for the future.

But..... I miss my mom!

Ever feel like this?

I spent the weekend with the second year students at a board review. I sat for hours and listened to material I should have known. I had to dust some of the information off as it emerged from it's 20 year old spot in my brain. It is amazing how much information we "forget" that we once knew! I had a good time, but came home exhausted.

Why do I sleep so badly in a hotel? I never rest well. I had a great room mate! She sleeps so quiet! I will share a room with Kim any day of the week! She is a great co-worker, roomy and friend!

I just felt so tired this morning! I even napped yesterday when I got home.

Did you vote?

Did you vote? If you choose not to vote then you have no right to complain about politics, taxes, laws and the way our country runs! Your vote counts! The right to vote has been granted, so exercise it! I would also encourage you to know who you are voting for and what they stand for. I say that after hearing someone say they didn't know what judges to vote for so they voted for all the women. I think that is a scary way to choose! So, go out and vote smart!