Truth and Circumstances

I have always felt like truth is necessary. Telling my children about my dad's illness has been looming over me like a black cloud. My children are not blind, deaf or dumb. They have been suspecting something is terribly wrong for several weeks. My daughter has made comments about my being away a lot with my dad UNTIL he gets better. My son has asked if I cried this much the last time my dad had cancer. I finally had to tell them the truth. I did not yell or scream "Papaw is dying" I just very factually told them that the doctors can't help Papaw get better and that God would have to heal Papaw or he was going to be with Jesus. My daughter cried a little, but my son on the other hand is so black and white. Oh, the faith of a little child ( Mark 10:15 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.) Malakhi asked, "Is Papaw a Godly man?" I told him yes and he proceeded to tell me Godly men lived long lives like 200 years! Then he asked why we can't live forever. I told him we can't live forever on earth because then we would never get to heaven to be with Jesus forever. Over all I think the kids took the news well. Elisabeth and I had a more in depth conversation because she is so mature for her age. She wanted to know why the hospice nurse wasn't helping Papaw to get better.

This has been a hard week again. I keep hoping it will all get a little better. I noticed I am snapping at my husband a little quicker this week. Stress at work has been tremendous too. It always gets like this at the end of a semester. I am having pain between my shoulder blades from tension.

I have always wanted this blog to be a happy place. It has not turned out to be happy. I am not a person who deals with depression, so this is a difficult place to be.

I find peace that my dad will rest with the Lord and that my black cloud of deception is gone. The deception to my children. The circumstances of life sometimes makes us question if Truth really is best. I hope my truthfulness was soft enough! Time will tell but for now I believe Truth is always necessary. After all one of the 10 big rules (ten commandments) is not to lie. I have felt like I have been telling the children lies for the last few weeks.

On a happier note....I am blessed :o) I have a great friend who offered to go to WV with me so I don't have to journey alone. She is willing to leave her husband and children to minister to me and my family. Not many people will leave their own lives to walk into such an emotionally draining situation. I have told this friend many times I would be lost without her. She is so dear to me and to the Lord. I hope she knows how special she really is!