Exhausted

I am completely exhausted! I can't decided what to do this weekend. My in-laws are here this weekend to go to the pinewood derby with the kids. My father in-law is not well. So it is just as important for the kids to see my in-laws as it is for them to see my parents. Ill parents are hard to manage!

I am exhausted. I really need to see my dad but am not sure I can make the seven hour drive on my own. My husband and the kids need to be here with his parents. I need to see how my dad really is so we know if the kids should see him. I do not want them to see him when he is knocking on heavens door. I think I am emotionally exhausted. The kids are not aware of the severity of my dad's illness. We (my husband and I) need wisdom for timing and direction with the kids. We had a rough conversation this morning. My husband is keeping himself busy so as to appear strong and I need him to comfort (wow-the irritating word) me. When I talked to my mom she said they are "staying busy" instead of processing. Mom is still showing signs of dementia. I called earlier and she was so rattled because the social worker was supposed to call back. She couldn't even talk to me. I asked her to call me back later. After about 4 hours I decided to call her back. She didn't say she forgot, but I could tell she did not even remember talking to me. Bless her heart. I can not imagine how she is coping.

The social worker and doctor came and saw my dad today. Some of the discussion was what funeral home and who would pronounce his death. WOW...that is so hard to process.

I know this blog has been so heavy! I hope I will find peace and joy. I hope this some how helps someone else out there.

Isaiah 61:3 (KJV)

To appoint to them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.